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Letter "E" » Emo Philips Quotes
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«The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.»
Author: Emo Philips
| Keywords:
combination, incompetence, office, post, posted, posting, post office, Russians, tanked, tanks, The Post Office
«I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'»
«My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.»
«My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.»
«I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming... They don't know I'm only using blanks.»
Author: Emo Philips
| Keywords:
blanks, go down, jumped-up, jumping up and down, jump up, run around, schoolyard, screaming, up and down, yelling
«Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.»
«Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?»
«I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.»
«In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.»
«I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.»
Author: Emo Philips
| About:
Men and Women
| Keywords:
caressed, Caresses, caressing, conscious, from head to toe, responding, skillful, sworn, tag, tags, tag on, toes
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