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Letter "J" » Jack Handy Quotes
(Click a letter to view the authors)
«If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.»
«Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.»
«If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.»
«To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.»
«As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.»
«If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
browse, browsed, browsing, convey, conveying, conveys, impression, land, on the other hand, opened, Out of Control, prohibit, prohibited, prohibiting, prohibits, seemed, store, testing, The Impressions, tramp, tramped, trampoline, tramps
«There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves.»
«Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| About:
Love
| Keywords:
bitter end, carry, carry off, describing, end up, in a way, lonely, monorail, ride, sweep, sweep over, sweep through, sweep up, The Ride
«If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
beer, bet, drinking, enlightenment, nose, shoot, Shoot Out, total
«Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?»
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