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Letter "J" » Jay Leno Quotes
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«Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to drop the name Clinton from her name, or drop the name Rodham. They can't figure out which one is more embarrassing.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
dilemma, dilemmas, embarrassing, facing, Hillary Clinton, senator
«Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really rich country like Switzerland and marry it.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
deficit, Deficits, eliminate, John Kerry, Kerry, released, senator, Senator John Kerry, Switzerland
«President Bush said the other day the war is not about timetables. It's about winning. Hey, it worked in Florida.»
«The latest word is that Saddam Hussein is now creating a buffer zone in Northern Iraq to defend against a northern invasion. Experts say if he's successful this could extend the length of the war by up to seven minutes.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
Against A, buffer, extend, invasion, invasion of Iraq, Saddam Hussein
«President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't I?»
«Scientists in Australia are working on making biodegradable car parts out of hemp. This might get confusing. When someone says, roll up the window, they might mean, roll up the window!»
«Saddam Hussein has raised the amount going to suicide bombers from $10 thousand dollars to $25 thousand. What's next, a health care plan?»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
bomber, bombers, care plan, health care, Hussein, Saddam, Saddam Hussein
«Shaquille O'Neal, ... has signed a five-year, $100-million contract extension with the Miami Heat. ...Actually, they offered him $200 million if he would practice his free throws, but he said no.»
«I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!»
«CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts: regular, premium and unleaded.»
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