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Letter "J" » Jay Leno Quotes
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«Good news. President Bush is creating thousands of new jobs. Unfortunately, all of them are at the White House.»
«All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.»
«My cars don't even have radios. When you're driving a 1906 steam car to work, you don't want to be fiddling with the radio.»
«Everybody's talking about are you going to turn pro. Here's your chance. You only have to answer the question that one time. Are you going to turn pro?»
«[On] other shows where people do hidden camera, it's mean and nasty or they're frightening the people or intimidating them, ... Howie doesn't do that. He very gently makes suggestions and you see that people want to please Howie.»
«Dick Cheney told reports that he has a new outlook on life. He says the best part of waking up is... waking up! I guess the doctors don't even put stitches in Cheney's chest anymore - they now just use Velcro.»
«Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the details of the Enron meetings. This is what he said. He met with unnamed people, from unspecified companies, for an indeterminate amount of time at an undisclosed location. Thank God he cleared that up. I'm ready to move on.»
«They were in a car, they drive along, they get out of the car, he shoots his friend in the face, then they get back in the car and they go hide for 18 hours. That's not hunting... that's an episode of The Sopranos.»
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