Explore Quotations, Proverbs & Sayings
Welcome to the biggest collection of quotations, proverbs and sayings! If you are looking for a specific quotation, proverb or saying, check our universal database. We have collected over 150,000 inspirational quotations, funny quotations, movie quotations, famous proverbs and cute sayings that we would like to share with you. Find quotations, proverbs and sayings for any occasion and view them all for free.
Browse quotations by author, topic or keyword.
Browse Authors:
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
(Click a letter to view the authors)
Letter "M" » Mitch Hedberg Quotes
(Click a letter to view the authors)
«I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and slammed the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick?»
«I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.»
«I wrote a letter to my dad, I was going to write 'I really enjoyed being here', but I accidentally wrote 'rarely' instead of 'really'. But I wanted to use it, I didn't want to cross it out, so I wrote 'I rarely drive steamboats, Dad. There's a lot of sh*t you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator.' I know this letter took a harsh turn right away.»
«I got my hair highlighted because I thought some strands were more important than others.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«Say, I was on The Craig Kilbourne Show and the next day I flew to Minneapolis. I was at the airport and a guy came up. He said, 'Dude, I saw you on TV last night.' But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good, he just confirmed that I was on television. So I turned my head away from him for about a minute, then I turned it back. I said, 'Dude, I saw you at the airport about a minute ago. And you were good.'»
«I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea?' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«A guy told me he liked cherries. I waited to see if he was going to say 'tomato' before I realized he liked cherries, just.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«Where are all the 'during' photos? I've never seen one.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«If you boat a lot, you're known as a boating enthusiast. I like to boat, but I just don't want to ever be referred to as a 'boating enthusiast'. I hope they call me 'a guy who likes to boat'.»
Get access to over 800,000 college papers on the most popular topics for only $14.95/month.
Buy essay, term paper or research paper on the specific topic at a cheap price and get a discount!
Buy essay, term paper or research paper on the specific topic at a cheap price and get a discount!
