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Letter "M" » Mitch Hedberg Quotes
(Click a letter to view the authors)
«I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad a turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastromi,.Some one needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.»
«I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.»
«I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.»
«I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
| Keywords:
code, coded, coding, dancer, Morse, Morse code, on tap, tap, tapping, taps, tap dancer, The Code
«I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for ME.»
«I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I'd rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.»
«I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide...»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
| About:
Funny,
Racing
| Keywords:
bugging, bugs, car window, circles, driver, in circles, keep going, On the Radio, passenger, race car, radio, slow down, The Bug, tide, turn down, turn on
«I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.»
«2-in-1 is a bullshit term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.»
«When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.»
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