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Letter "F" » Funny
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«Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?»
«Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two week's notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have»
Author: Bob Ettinger
| About:
Funny,
Relationships
| Keywords:
boyfriend, full time, girlfriend, severance
«Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.»
Author: Earnest Benn
| About:
Funny,
Politics
| Keywords:
applying, diagnosed, diagnoses, diagnosing, incorrectly, looking for, remedy
«Politics is just show business for ugly people»
«Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?»
Author: Warren Hutcherson
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
After the Fire, And logic, Between the Lines, burn, case, cased, elementary, elementary school, file, filed, files, file in, filing, fire, Fire I, fire up, firing, firing line, his case, in case, in that, line, line up, My school, On Line, quietly, remember, school, schooled, schooling, single, single file, slower, smallest, take fire, tall, tallest, told, under fire
«Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.»
Author: Fran Lebowitz
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
Funny,
Teenage
| Keywords:
phone, teenager, The Last Stage
«President Bush said for security reasons, he's sworn off all e-mail communication. He will not be using email at the White House at all. Is that a good idea? I mean, it's not like that speaking thing was working out so good.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
e'en, email, e mail, good idea, mail, mailed, mailing, mails, President Bush, swear off, sworn, The White, The White House, White House, working out
«Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook»
Author: George Carlin
(Actor, Author, Comedian)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
boy scout, Boy Scouts, handbook, organization, regarding, scouting, Scouts, suspicious
«President Bush, testing the mic at the GOP convention:'Four score and seven years ago. We have come here to dedicate a portion of it as a final resting place. ... My fellow members of the press corps, especially the camera man, tax relief is on the way ... don't spend it all in one place.'»
Author: George W. Bush
(President)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
All in one, bush, camera, convention, corps, dedicate, GOP, members, on the way, portion, President Bush, press corps, relief, resting, score, Seven Years, testing, the Convention, the conventions, the press
«Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.»
Author: Woody Allen
(Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter)
| About:
Funny,
Sex,
Smoking
| Keywords:
fast, sex, smoke, smokes, smoke out
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